Addicted to having a job !
This is supposed to be a food blog. But bear with me on this one.
For more than 6 months now I have been thinking of quitting my job. Why ? Just like that. I just want to take life easy and not follow a routine. I have been working for such a long time to keep myself in status in the US of A. I felt liberated when we got EAD. It was such a nice feeling after years of feeling bonded and slogging like a slave. It was the usual run of the mill life of a software engineer on H1B. 24 hour phone support, product deployment at wee hours or midnights, constant torture from consulting company. So when I got the news that I got EAD I screamed my lungs off !!
I was more than happy to quit my job and move to a new city and start fresh. I took a software job again but with a work life balance. After more than 2 years now I have the freedom not to have a job but I am just not able to let it go. My friends and parents are constantly telling me that my mind will be a devils' workshop if I am idle at home. My mom swears that I cannot be at home after that comfort feeling of having a job. Ravi is scared that I might eat his brains off if I am at home.
Dressing like a professional, being in the midst of go-getters, participating in meetings and see your ideas valued is a very nice feeling. Seeing your programs in action is exciting. Many days after a dull start at home, I had felt my day brighten up because of my job. Because of the change in atmosphere around me ! Personal tensions, worries ease out a bit during the day. Lets face it - To see money in the bank is a nice feeling. It also makes a lot of sense that a woman should be able to support herself and her family.
On the other hand, I feel so sad not find anything to eat when I come home tired after work. I keep asking myself - why do I have to slog so much and not have a fresh cooked meal at home !! The long commute is also not very enjoyable. Having done the same thing over and over again, I am not enjoying my work anymore. I would love to try volunteer work, attend yoga classes, go to photoshop class, finish off my tanjore painting and cook more !
But are these just lame excuses to loathe around at home doing nothing ? Are my dear ones right that I will start sulking and see the grass greener on the other side ? Or am I just addicted to having a routine job ?
Anyone identifying with me ??
Anyone identifying with me ??
posted by Revathi @ 10:46 PM
20 Comments
20 Comments:
Revathi, I have been working for almost 12 years, without a break... I go through similar stuff sometimes too... Right now, I just can't imagine not getting a steady paycheck :) got used to making money for myself... And I am 100% sure that I will be bored out of my mind within a month...
But if you are seriously considering this, take a three month break, and try it out... If your current job won't let you take a sabbatical, quit. See if you are getting bored, see if you really are doing all those things you wish you could do... If it is not working out, find another job... Now-a-days, it is not difficult to find a job, and looks like you have a lot of experience in the field... So, what are you worried about? Just-Do-It... :)
Good luck!
Revathi, I was a job addict once. When I quit my first job, 2 hrs later, coming home, I really missed the place that I started calling all my colleagues. The guilt of not doing a 'real' job and wasting time did hit me. But I got over it. Not everybody gets to do what they enjoy the most. But if you can do that, w/o much strain on the finance of yr family, why not give it a try? Everything is replaceable. So is yr work life. But if you find that hard, as Sig says, you can always go back.
Revathi!!
I can totally understand what you are going through, you definitely need some time off. I for one have been working for past 10 years with a yr break in between when i had Noel. I started full time but found really hard to manage, home, work n kids. Then i went for part time after Jacobs, our civil engg consultancy offered new working hrs for parents. It was a bliss after that. I work 9 to 3 now, have time for myself, my kid home and enjoy work.
I was restless, depressed when I wasn't working.May be a month would do fine but its very difficult to stay of work after so many years.
Why don't try part time or take just few months off and see?
what do u say??
Sorry i couldn't be of any help to u dear!!
Revathi..why do you keep on oscillating..if you are bored of your routine work life..quit the job..enjoy your family life..finally i have to tell you this..do what your mind says..
I am with you on this one! Gone through the exact same feelings and still do. A nice warm sunny day if I see someone take a leisurely stroll this feeling will come back in full force :) I know my limitations I would drive everyone up the walls if I stopped working. I need to be busy.
I second Sig's suggestion, take the plunge try it out if you don't like it you can always go back. But if you don't try you'd never know. Go Ahead give it a shot!
"Loaf around the house with nothing to do", "taking it easy", "without a job" if you stay home??!!! You don't have kids, do ya?:D
I would love to live in your fantasy world or "stay at home" World lady!!!:D
I stay home, have a "full time job" with no pay as such(do have more than enough money and manage it well too), no real respect, no real appreciation, NEVER have a break even if I am sick like a dog, always always have to do something or the other, no time for myself unless I am super organized.Phew! But I would never change a thing about my life, I am thankful for my beautiful way of life!:)
GO TO WORK which pays you well (although money never really gives you happiness) and thank your stars for that. Grass is always greener on the other indeed.
You can always quit for a while, take a break and see if you like to do something else other than what you are doing now. Got to like whatever you do. My husband really LOVES what he does, his work is his pride and joy and so is my work!:)
Good luck, and hugs to you.
Hi Revathi! I can just say wow! It's what I too have in mind.... but of course in India!
I so want to quit and stay at home.... but I can't .. for the same reasons you said! Sigh..
I wud also suggest u to take a break and go back once u r no more complaining abt a routine....
actually i am in the exact place you are..i had decided to take a break from my work and i am off it for a while..but again..i am also introspecting on what makes me happy...as it really sucks to do what you do not like.
A few days back i have decided to quit my job...relax and go back for one after a few months..as i am well aware that i love to work..but not sure as waht! and this job drains me of all fun in life.
In the end you have to take a chance to really understand what you want out of life. Yes, the paycheck is a motivator..but if finance is not an issue ..go ahead and give in to what your mind and heart wants and not what others claim that you should be wanting...hope this helps.
Revathi, this is exactly what I went through about two years back....and I did quit my job....but my decision was probably a little bit easier 'coz I had a baby. I don't regret quitting for one moment.
Looks like u have quite a bit of work experience...why don't you quit.....see if u like "not working" and then decide.
Good luck, whichever way you decide to go!!!
Revathi.. I guess all of us have gone thru this at some point or another! Speaking of myself, i quit my job when I got married and I was a housewife for over 1 year, and very honestly, I loved it all!! but then, I must also state that i was newly married, we were on the move (mumbai- b'lore- USA) soit was not difficult for me! just the 1 yr at home here in USA was fun too, I have no regrets, and I will not hesitate to go back to it!!!
I can understand what u are feeling, maybe a short break from it all will help u make up ur mind, just test the waters before u plunge in!!
All the best!
Hi Revathi,
I can truely understand the phase you are going through.
Its true, Grass is greener on the otherside, but why to look at other side when you are at this side ? Be positive about whatever decision you take, and as of now whatever plan you have in mind to complete ,put it down on a page , and then enjoy doing if fully when you quit the job. I really think that this kind of life is far better. I too was working and then sometimes I felt that other than those huge amount of paycheck I was not goining to miss anything else much. so i quit it , Many people asks me , if I have started tha job agian or not? don't bother with them, do what you feel like , and shape your life the better way. who knows you cam make more money being a very good painter, but you havent given it a slight thought till now,right? Making money is good, but making money the way we like is the better option :) .
I sometimes think, that we girls have that option with us, that if we wish , we can choose to live our life the way we wish, without doing any job.I am software enginner too, I worked for 4 years b4 my marriage ,and after that too for 1 year almost. Then I thought, I have better ideas to make life even better .And one thing I can tell you for sure, once you will be free from that busy routine of job, you will find many things /positive changes in life, which u never gave a thought any time.
Revathi, I have been in your situation! And guess what, to put a rest to all this, i did take a break! For a year and half...and believe me i went crazy! But maybe my situation and timing was all wrong. I had two little ones at that time to drive me up the wall! I think if i take time off now i would enjoy it better! But hey, the grass is always greener on the other side!
Why nto give it a shot! Take a break for a year and get abck if u dont like it! U can always get back to your career! Life will go on :-)
Good luck to you!
Thank you very much for the comments..
For taking the time out and explaining your point of view. Thank you very much..
I really wanted to hear your point of view Sig -
Good to know that someone else was also in the same shoes as me.. Thanks Suganya
Yes Padamaja - part time job is what i am also thinking. Thanks
Straight to the point thanks lavi
ISG correct correctt. I get the same feeling.. thanks for pointing out... So I am not alone :)
Asha I had a hearty laugh reading your comment. Wowwww..I did not know having kids at home is so much work.. I thank you dear truly for the mom-talk.
Ashu you like me too ?? Yay !!
Thanks Swaroopa.
Good luck Rajitha. Keep me posted.
Oh Jayashree having a baby at home is like asha points out is a full time job..
Thanks Manasi.. I have to decide sooner or later.
Pooja thanks.
Latha with 2 kids no its not a break !!
Thank you very much for taking the time to put in your very very valuable suggestions.. I will keep you posted.
hey ravathi, I am on the other side of what you are going thru. I had my H1B in 2007 and still not able to get a job. Its really crazy out here when u be alone at home after 3 years of work in india. I frankly tell you that staying at home is not that fun after certain point of time .Its really difficult. But think twice before you quit and be sure in that. May be you can take a break for few months and get back to your life !!!
Revathi - I had been working for almost 12 years now. Before I left for India, I quit my job (U know why). I try to keep myself occupied as much as I can..bay area has a ton of volunteer oppurtunities..quit and try all this, see if it gives you the satisfaction you are looking for. Money : It is only money, it is there one day and gone another. Remember you can always go back to a job whenever you want. Waht you want to do in life is your priority and nothing else
You say that you suck in write-up in your gooseberry post. Hey, c'mon.... You have ventilated your feelings beautifully. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I'm not fully able to understand what you are going through. But I've always dreamed that I should go for a job, dress well, feel good and earn the big bucks. Right now, with my kid I can only dream about it. Anyway, take it easy. If needed take a break and get back to working girl. You don't know what you have in hand. You are one lucky girl. Cheers.
staying at home also has a schedule-the difference is that you can make it yourself. That is why it actually requires more discipline, vigilance and self-reliance to be able to stay at home and be productive. I consider it also to be true productivity-no meetings to attend, no bullshitting, nothing to prove to nobody. Then when we work our intention is so pure-it is just very simply to be, not to please anybody. Very, very few people have this luxury. I hope you choose that and advise us someday on how that works for you. Best wishes.
Although I've never worked (why do I suddenly feel like I'm a spoilt brat?), I do know that sitting at home, especially when you don't have kids, gets boring real quick. I mean, sure, you'll enjoy your break and do everything you ever wanted to.....I almost broke my back checking out books from the library ;), but you'll get real tired with all the fun soon. It's always better to balance a life with equal work and fun. I agree with Shankari about doing some voluteer/part-time work and see where it goes. I remember as soon as I joined school after my looong break, I suddenly felt like a new person...I felt like people respected me. But you know what? No matter what you do, if you're a hard worker(maintaining a neat home is hard work!), people will respect you....it's just your insecurities that'll make you feel they don't. I know this first hand because there's a person I know who not only handles three active kids and their school activties but also manages the bills/taxes/etc. part of the home with such panache....I really admire her. But if she is anything like me, she probably has insecurities about people not respecting her.
P.S: I e-mailed you all about the meet. I am so sorry I won't be bale to meet you all lovely ladies :(
i couldn't agree more with Nabeela. but i think volunteering and parttime work are not the only way. i am learning Greek, knitting scarves, writing a screenplay for a movie idea and practicing my indian classical lessons. I don't have children but I hardly feel i am being an idle housewife. In fact, i feel a bit like i am in college again. it is great. and money is actually going further because i am tighter with my money.
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